Recently the lovely Tara Frey of Romantic Homes sent me some interview questions about my blog for a possible feature in her column. One of the things I love to convey is the simple art of sharing. Please forgive me but for this post I am stepping away from my usual vintage decorating ideas and asking for a favor from you. I have been away from my blog the last few days because I was taking care of yet another family heartache. As you may remember I lost my second brother cowboy Mike in October. Yesterday, my only surviving brother Lyn lost his long fought battle with post polio syndrome. As the youngest of four and the RN in the family, I had to make some incredible heart wrenching decisions on behalf of my brother this week. Even though I thought I knew his wishes, I still struggled with the guilt feelings and notion that I was playing God with his life. Lyn did have a legalized Advanced Health Care Directive that stated in the event of irreversible changes he did not want to be kept alive. For the last 1 ½ years he has been dependent on mechanical ventilation for his respiratory needs and his quality of life has greatly been altered. Then last week he suffered a series of events that resulted in a very fast decline in his health. His doctors told me that they could do no more for him and his death was imminent and I should think about disconnecting him from his ventilator support. I was flooded with an inner battle of emotions that was truly overwhelming. Even though I had this legal piece of paper stating what he wanted, I never really sat down and talked to him in detail about the actual process. So I prayed that in his heavily sedated state he would be able to communicate to me what he wanted done. Through a series of unbelievable events, he did manage to wake up enough for me to tell him what I think he most needed to hear and that was I would be ok. You see, Lyn was the type of person that worried about everyone else before himself. He looked at me and whispered, “I love you and I am done” within thirty minutes he was finally at peace and so was I. I am sharing this to ask a simple favor of you and that is to have a heart to heart talk with your loved ones about their wishes in the end of life event. Also, please have them complete an Advanced Health Care Directive and make sure if you are named on that document to represent them you know exactly what they want to the last detail. Trust me, nothing is ever clear cut in these trying family situations even with a legal document. It is never easy to talk about things like this with a loved one but it is my hope to save you from some heartache one day my dear blog friends by the sharing of my situation. God Bless.
